What We Do Best As A Family Is ...

Family should be one big celebration

Maybe it's because there's a lot of us. Maybe it's because we love to laugh and make each other laugh. Or maybe it's because we've always had little kids around who reach big milestones on a regular basis. Whatever the case, over the last several days I was struck by something that happens a lot here at Team Sabo.

We celebrate.

We celebrate little things. Like a lost tooth. The displaced little tooth is taken around the house and shown with great pride to each brother and sister. The new gap in the mouth is admired and analyzed and there's long discussions of whether the Tooth Fairy is broke thanks to the Sabo kids.

We celebrate funny things, like 4-year-old Judah telling MerriGrace about his latest dream. It was a dream where he forgot to put on his pants and underwear but went out in public anyway. Now I when I have had those dreams of being buck naked in public, it was more like a nightmare. Judah had a different response: "Whoops!" he told MerriGrace. That's a story worth celebrating.

We celebrate attempts to conquer the English language, which is no small feat for a 2-year-old like Seth. He likes his apples cut in half, with the skin off and smothered in "pinka butter." Although he means to say "peanut butter," we all think "pinka butter" is just so much better. Because it makes us laugh.

We celebrate one of the biggest moments in a Sabo kid's life -- the day of turning 10 years old. -- with regularity. You see, at the age of 10 a Sabo lad or lass becomes a "big kid." There's all sorts of benefits to being a big kid. Not only have they hit double digits, but they can stay up later at night. They are entrusted with more freedoms, like playing video games. There's also a certain amount of responsibility -- they may be counted on to help out more with the little kids. Now that we can definitely celebrate.

We celebrate when the kids in college come home for the holidays or on a weekend. Sometimes the younger kids make welcome home signs. Or they color pictures. Sometimes they bake cookies. Sometimes, like tonight, we honor a special request and make chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. All the time there's a ton of hugs.

In another week we'll celebrate in a big way a first for our family. Taylor is marrying Bethany. The excitement in the house is palpable. We've been doing a countdown for months. Today Olivia was modeling the dress she is going to wear. We giggled over the snazzy shirts and ties Judah and Seth will be wearing. We've dug out photos of when Taylor was but a wee Sabo to share at the wedding reception. And the great thing is that we'll have many, many more of these types of celebrations.

We celebrate potty training and riding a bike with no training wheels and going to Busch Gardens and family vacations and picking blueberries and getting baptized and a little kid reading their first book and getting a driver's license and birthdays and a million other things.

We celebrate life because life should be a celebration. I view this life I have, my wife and all these kids, as a gift from God. And gifts are worth celebrating.

The One Thing Everyone Should Do Today

Sunset-watching requires waiting. Trust me.

I was rummaging through the archives of Sabo musings and came across this one from my old "12 Kids and Counting" blog that I banged out six years ago. I'll link to it here and I think you'll like it and relate to it -- it's about trying to hustle through the express line only to have the customer in front of me whip out a checkbook and sssslllllooooowwwwllllllyyyyy write a check. The blog post is all about waiting and how we're unaccustomed to waiting. And how there's a Biblical principle of waiting that we seem to have forgotten in this culture.

Here's the link: `And Wait On Your God Continually'

But it also got me to thinking about what I've learned shooting photographs of sunsets. I've been on Instagram for a few years and my calling card is sunset photos. We live on a peninsula here in Gloucester and our house is three blocks from a private beach on the York River and a we're a couple of  miles from the beach at Gloucester Point where the iconic Coleman Bridge spans the water.

Over Thanksgiving Ethan was home and I grabbed him just before sundown late one afternoon and trekked down to the beach to impart some fatherly wisdom on photographing sunsets. By no means am I professional photographer. I have friends who are professional photographers and I would not insult them by saying I'm even close to their abilities.

That said, I've learned a few things about sunsets over the years. Here's my three takeaways.

1) Get outside. In order to shoot a photograph of a sunset you have to actually see it. If that sounds a little too obvious, it is. It's my personal opinion that the world would be a better place if more people spent more time personally enjoying sunsets. It takes time and effort to get out and see a sunset but the rewards are incalculable. Take time out of your busy schedule of surfing the net, posting on Facebook, Tweeting, commuting, "working" or otherwise wasting time to watch the sun go down. Enjoy the peace, the view, the beauty and the serenity. You'll feel better, I promise. And take a picture of it.

2) Be patient. The York River is one to two miles wide where I typically watch the sun go down. What I've noticed is that the most astounding part of the sunset occurs about 10 minutes after the actual sunset. I learned this the hard way. When I first started photographing sunsets, I'd watch the sun go down and then call it a day. But a couple times I was walking home from the beach and turned around several minutes after sunset to see the sky aflame. Then I would run down to the beach for the best shots. There's a lesson here: Beautiful things take time. You can't rush them. You can't hurry them up, or microwave them or get them in the express line. Slow down, enjoy the view and let the sunset marinate to perfection.

3) Share it with somebody you love. I saw the clouds in the sky the other day and knew it was going to be a hot sunset. So I grabbed Julie and told her we were going on a date. We went down to the pier at Gloucester Point Beach and watched the sky catch fire behind the Coleman Bridge. It was beautiful. And I'll say from personal experience that sunsets are best enjoyed when you're kissing the love of your life.

KLOVE CEO Mike Novak makes $557,362

For several years I've blogged about KLOVE's finances. KLOVE is classified as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and is the dominant Christian radio station in America operating "non-commercial" and listener-supported radio stations across the country.

I make no editorial comment about KLOVE's finances and how the organization spends its money. This information is only in the interest of transparency. We're all familiar with the fall and spring KLOVE pledge drives and here's a brief look at where the money goes. KLOVE is run by the non-profit Educational Media Foundation (EMF) that is based in Rocklin, Calif., according to annual Form 990 records filed with the IRS. Educational Media Foundation operates the KLOVE and Air 1 radio stations broadcast across the country and over the internet.

According to records filed with the IRS here's a comparison of the company's finances
Total revenue
2013--$141 million
2014--$155.3 million

Expenses
2013--$81.6 million
2014--$91.1 million

Net Revenue
2013--$59.5 million
2014--$64.2 million

Net Assets
2013--$290 million
2014--$353.5 million

Grants to tax-exempt organizations for Christian evangelism, edification and values
2013--$156,077
2014-- $208,303

Here's the compensation of the top employees, according to the IRS records:
1) Mike Novak, CEO/President/Director: $557,362 (including bonus of $157,500)
2) David Pierce, chief creative officer: $309,726
3) Alan Mason, COO: $299,378
4) Dan Antonelli, VP International: $295,135
5) Kevin Blair, General Counsel/Secretary: $285,317
6) Joe Miller, VP Signal Development/Asst. Treasurer: $272,941
7) Eric Moser, CFO: $259,749
8) Brian Burger, VP of Human Resources: $245,566
9) Randy Rich, VP of Philanthropy: $240,279
10) Brian Gantman, Govt Affairs Director/In-house counsel: $220,046
11) Sam Wallington, VP of Engineering: $213,362
12) David Atkinson, VP of Finance/Treasurer: $211,890
13) Randall Badaeux, Director of Programming: $207,830
14) William Lyons, Principal Data Scientist: $188,4592
15) Chuck Pryor, KLOVE Programming Director: $187,708
16) Scott Smith, Air Talent: $178,104
17) Ed Lenane, Director of Events: $176,687
18) Frank Maranzino, Director of Studio Technology: $176,375
19) Virginia Walker, VP of Listener Services/Asst. Secretary: $163,501
20) Richard Allison, Business Manager: $155,302
21) Stacie Ford, Assoc. General Counsel/Asst. Secretary: $118,506

Total fundraising expenses for KLOVE were $5.9 million.

ShareMedia Services, of Eden Prairie, Minn., was paid $306,773 by EMF for consulting work, which includes "pledge drive coaching," IRS records show. ShareMedia describes itself as the "experts in broadcast fundraising." Gross receipts from pledge drives involving ShareMedia were tabbed at $32 million, records show.

Three Things to DO This Christmas Season

I tend to chart out my life by a series of events. I have this sort of oral history in my mind and recall certain things by events in my life. For example, it's easy to remember when we moved from Prineville, Ore., to Corvallis, Ore., because it was right after Abram was born in 1999. Or I remember  the year when Eli was born because it was 2004 -- when we moved to Gloucester, Va. Another example would be remembering precisely when gasoline prices spiked in 2008 -- it was in September at the exact moment we were driving to Oregon so I could attend the School of Ministry at Calvary Chapel Corvallis. I will never forget the shock -- maybe horror is a better word -- of seeing the price of gas on the freeway in Tennessee at $4.99 per gallon. Or the acute physical pain associated with watching the needle of our fuel gauge rapidly drop toward `E' when we were driving into ferocious oncoming winds on I-80 in Wyoming. It's still painful to remember it seven years later ...

A year ago I spent two weeks in Nigeria while working as Communications Manager for the Transformational Education Network. It was an extraordinary time as we worked with church officials in Nigeria to open Bible-teaching computer training schools. As part of our work we traveled to a few schools, including the ones pictured above. Take a good look at those photos. Would you, as an American, say they are less than ideal conditions for school?

But here's the thing I remember when I visited those schools: The smiles I got from those students. I think about that frequently. Those kids have it rough and I'm know there are countless discouraging things they face every day. But they are so excited about going to school because it is a privilege and a blessing in that country. I'm not sure what percentage of Nigerian children actually get to wear uniforms and receive an education in a safe environment, but it may well be surprisingly low. These kids are grateful, to say the least.

I say all this because we all know how easy it is to get caught up in the consumer mentality of the American Christmas. I am guilty of it as well. We focus on things that don't matter, instead of things that do matter. With that in mind, I'd like to encourage all of us in three things -- particularly me -- this Christmas season.

1) Be thankful. I've traveled around the world. I've been to Africa, Haiti, China, South Korea, Hong Kong and other countries. We have so much to be thankful for as Americans. Be thankful for simple things such as running water, electricity, easy transportation, an overabundance of food and access to education. We take them for granted. Be thankful for our freedoms and safety in this country. The vast majority of us are untouched by violence, despite mass shootings and murder rates in inner cities. We don't have armed guards standing at gates at churches to ensure the safety of congregants like I saw in Jos, Nigeria. We don't have AK-47-toting soldiers manning checkpoints on highways every 10 or 15 miles to make sure terrorists aren't toting bombs and weapons across the country, as I saw in Nigeria. Not yet at least ...

More importantly, though, be thankful for a Savior. Two thousand years ago in an inconsequential town in the Middle East a child was born who would grow to become a remarkably compassionate, loving man. He is the Son of God and would live a sinless life, performing miracles of healing and later enduring searing punishment and torture and be nailed to a cross to be crucified. He would sacrifice His own life and take on our sins so that we could be free from the shackles of our trespasses and live life abundantly. Be thankful for the grace, mercy and selfless, unconditional love of Jesus Christ.

2) Be giving. We have this consumer mentality in America and an obsession with material things. Even in the church we find it hard to live out what Jesus said: That it's better to give than to receive. One of the saddest things I've heard recently is listening to the stories of two of my kids who work in the food service industry describe how the worst day for tips is Sunday afternoon when the Christians in their nice clothes go out to eat after church. Or how those same people can be among the rudest and most demanding customers. One of my kids describes how sad it is to know that some of the store's worst customers are a group of people wearing their church t-shirts who are rude to staff and then sit around and gossip. Come on Christians. We can do better.

Give more this year. In tips, in love, in deeds, in words and joy. Be a light to this dark world. Reflect the compassion of Jesus and live it out. Radiate the love of Jesus to a world that trades in harsh words, cynicism and selfishness.

3) Be servants. Jesus said that he came to this world to serve and not to be served. If we call ourselves Christians, that means we are followers of Jesus Christ and that these words should resonate with us. Does being a servant describe your life? Husbands, what does serving your wife look like in your house at the moment? How about with your kids? How does being a servant play out at work? How does it play out at church? Being a servant is a mindset that entails setting aside your needs to serve others and it can be a complete foreign concept to us. It starts at home. Believe me, I can do better and I know it. Perhaps many of us can do better. This world will be a better place when we have more people, Christians particularly, who view the journey through this life through the lens of being a servant. It's serving without complaint, accepting responsibility, being quick to apologize and quick to forgive and being patient and loving.

I leave with a verse that's one of my favorites, a prophecy from Isaiah 9 that describes the coming of Jesus. Just as Jesus is a light to a dark world, we can be lights this Christmas season: "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined."

With 14 Kids, Our Budget For Christmas Shopping Is ...

The gift of giving

I get asked fairly frequently this time of year what Christmas shopping is like in our house. It's hard for people to wrap their head around shopping for a family our size, apparently. By way of an answer, here's the insider's perspective.

Last week, MerriGrace went around with a clipboard, paper and pencil and asked her brothers and sisters what they want for Christmas. It took her two days, four sheets of paper, two pencils, one eraser and a partridge in a pear tree to compile the list. Just kidding! She got it done in fairly short order and I have looked over the list. It includes items that range from chocolate, to a book of systematic theology -- Judah can't wait to start reading!* -- to various colors of light sabers, to Legos (We need more Legos? How about if I just give back the ones permanently embedded in my feet from stepping on them?) to all sorts of Star Wars paraphernalia.

All in all, it's a solid list of modest requests. MerriGrace has actually checked out online the requests and tallied the bottom line at $660 for all the presents. Now as a disclaimer, the list is blank for four of the older kids so it's far from comprehensive. So the average is $66 per kid. If you throw in the four kids who at this point are getting "unknown" for Christmas and calculate their costs at $66 each, the total bill for Christmas for the 14 Sabo kids would be $924, not including tax (unless we can get family and friends to buy the presents in tax-free Oregon and ship them to us.)

But we're not spending $924 on Christmas. I can assure you of that. If you really want the inside scoop on what Christmas shopping is like in the Sabo house, ask MerriGrace. Ok well, not really. For the inside scoop on Christmas shopping in the Sabo house, we sat down for an interview with Julie Sabo.

Q: Hey babe, you got a minute?
A: Um, is it important?
Q: Probably the most important thing you will do all day. Wait, that's not a question ...
A: (Eye roll).
Q: It's going to take like, literally, three minutes.
A: I was really hoping to get some school done with your children, but since it's soooooo important ...
Q: You're the best babe. You've got `Mom of the Year' locked up.
A: The question?
Q: Right. So people are always asking me about Christmas shopping for 20 kids or whatever we have these days.
A: It's 14. Do you tell them we get them toys, movies, video games, clothes and things like that? Things off the list MerriGrace makes?
Q: Well, yeah. I mean, I will. But this "list" you mentioned, what's that like?
A: It's right over there on the clipboard.
Q: I was hoping you could tell me about it ... (flashes cheesy smile).
A: (Sigh). Is this for your blog?
Q: (Silence followed by more cheesy smiling.)
A: We have everybody write a wish list but they all know that we'll pick one or two of the things on the wish list and that's all. And we usually wrap everybody's gifts in one package so that even if one of the kids has three gifts worth $30 or one gift for $30 it's all one Christmas present from "Mom and Dad." And Christmas isn't all about the gifts for us.
Q: It's not about the gifts. You are so right. It's all about ... I mean, Christmas is totally all about ...
A: It's about being together and being with the family. There's so much joy!
Q: Exactly what I was going to say!
A: I could tell.
Q: So what happens if a kid is hoping for a more expensive item? What if they ask for say, a new iPad?
A: The only one who asked for a new iPad was you.
Q: I mean, hypothetically speaking. Let's say someone like Seth asked for an iPad.
A: Well our kids know that that's not a possibility in our family.
Q: Yes, of course. I mean, Seth's like 2 years old. I'm sure an iPad isn't on his list. It was just, you know, a hypothetical. So I understand our kids have a cool little Christmas tradition where they have a gift exchange. Is that what they do?
A: Yes.
Q: They do something like draw each other's names out of a hat and get each other a gift. Right?
A: (Nodding.)
Q: Would there by any price restrictions on these gifts the kids exchange?
A: Not really. The older kids spend more. It's money they have earned, but we do help out the little kids with paying for their gifts.
Q: That's a great idea. A gift exchange for the kids. Did your husband come up with that idea?
A: Nice try. The kids came up with the idea. Remember? Everyone wanted to give each other gifts and that was the best way to go about it. Who could afford to give a gift to each of their 13 brothers or sisters?
Q: Exactly. So what sorts of things do the kids usually buy each other?
A: Candy, movies out of the $5 bin, used video games, inexpensive jewelry, toys from a dollar store. The kids have a blast with it, as I'm sure you know.
Q: (Nodding vigorously.) Do all the kids like this gift exchange?
A: Yes. They totally get into it. The little kids get so excited to see the older kids open their gifts. It's so much fun.
Q: One of the highlights of my year. No doubt about it. That about wraps it up for me babe. Thank you so much. You're such a great interview.
A: You're welcome.

And there you have it. Christmas in the Sabo house. On a budget of somewhere around $30 per kid, give or take a few bucks. We also have a tradition where we go around and open gifts one at a time, youngest to oldest, celebrating everyone's gift and making a million memories.

Top Five Reasons Every Family Should Play Dress-up

Playing dressup builds character. Or something...

For some reason, every Thanksgiving when the college kids come home for Thanksgiving things get a little crazy at the Sabo house. As the neighbors can attest, the traditional Thanksgiving soccer match has morphed into a spectacularly audacious dress-up affair.

Passersby probably think it's a flashmob of eccentric thespians congregating on the Sabo lawn. Surely somebody has called the county's 911 emergency dispatch center on us only to be told, "That address comes up as the Sabo house. The kids are probably playing dress-up again. Happens every Thanksgiving. Just call us if you see a 40something-year-old bald guy out there playing dress-up. We'll come get him."

The roots of this annual dressabration go back several years to our annual Thanksgiving soccer match that drew a host of Saboites attired in their parks & rec soccer uniforms. Then they started wearing shirts representing club teams and it grew from there. Until, well, as you see above THIS happened.

But beyond alarming neighbors and passersby, a family dressabration has actual, tangible value. It can be measured, in other words. Don't believe me? Oh, ye of little faith read on and be amazed! We present to you, the top 5 reasons every family should play dress-up on Thanksgiving and take the sartorial flashmob out to the front yard to flaunt your threadsilicious splendor.

5) It builds family unity -- What says family more than everyone dipping into the bag of swag some call the dress-up clothes bin to reach new heights of sartorial sumptuousness? Face it, some people never outgrow the need, the desire, the desperate addiction to playing dress-up. (It's ok. You can come clean. Go ahead and let us know in the comments section that you daydream about playing dress-up. Honesty is the first step to treatment for those of you addicted to donning princess dresses or Spiderman suits.) As each Sabo lad and lass appeared with their clothing creation, there was a loud cheering of siblings and a steady dose of encouragement and congratulations. It was impressive and truly a team effort.

4) It builds leadership -- Truth be told, there could be some reluctance among some of the more reserved -- sane? -- Sabo offspring to looking like a caveman, for example. That's where the true Sabo leaders step up and show their brothers and sisters what it means to be a Sabo. Which sometimes entails donning outrageous ensembles that are so sketch it would lead people to call the cops.

3) It builds creativity and imagination -- It would be a darn shame to go through life without letting loose your inner dress-up child. What's better than rummaging through the dress-up bin and finding outrageous combinations of duds to create a whole new persona? What's better than coming up with combinations that leave your brothers and sisters rolling on the ground in laughter? An imagination is a terrible thing to waist. Er, waste.

2) It promotes role playing to nurture depth of personality -- Childhood is too short to waist, er waste, on not cutting loose and getting crazy with the dress-up clothes every once in a while. Our kids have always loved role playing and creating an entire "town" of characters. (ICYMI: The game of "Town" -- Sabo style) They learn new ways to interact, developing accents and traits and becoming professionals and playing roles. I'm not gonna lie, it's fun to watch.

1) It encourages confidence -- Some of our kids can be pretty reserved and quiet. They're more behind the scenes types. But with the encouragement of the older kids and their other siblings, they truly go for it at the annual Thanksgiving bash and come up with some outrageous combinations of outfits. Cheered on by their siblings, they learn that they can't come up with a "wrong" combination of clothes and that they are only limited by their imagination. It's a blast to watch them go for it.

As I was writing this I came up with a sixth reason every family should play dress-up. This is far and away the most important: It makes some of the best memories. Oh, and you can dominate the Facebook feed with a family dress-up glamour shot.

The Shepherds Who Were Looking Up

From a blog post I wrote in December 2009:

I've been thinking about shepherds lately. We're having a Christmas Eve service -- 5 o'clock on Dec. 24th at the Boys & Girls Club, you're all invited -- to sing some hymns and carols, read out of Luke 2 and I'll share a short message.

As I read Luke's account of the birth of Christ, I can't help but wonder about the shepherds who saw the angel of the Lord. I've read accounts that 2,000 years ago shepherds were the pickpockets and thieves of the day. The sorry, no-account drifters who were troublemakers and virtually indentured servants. Things haven't changed much, perhaps. I've enclosed a link at the bottom of this post to help you see where I'm going with this thing.

But let me describe the life of a modern-day sheepherder in the barren Wyoming outback, where you might be in charge of a flock of 1,500 or 2,000 sheep: On call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your home is a 5 x 10 "campito" without running water. Have to go to the bathroom? Here's a shovel. You have no electricity. The searing summer days can hit 100 degrees. On Christmas Day at a sheep camp near Encampment, Wyo., look for a high of 14 degrees, with a low of zero. And snow.

Your heat source is a wood stove. It might even work, particularly if you have wood. In addition to no days off, a sheepherder must be able to ride a horse and repair fences. Not to mention guard the flock against predators and poisonous weeds. Not only that, a decent worker should be able to assist in lambing, docking, castrating (Rocky Mountain oysters baby!), dehorning, shearing, vaccinating, drenching and medicating the sheep.

Sometimes the work gets a little hairy -- or worse. Wolves are a constant problem in parts of Wyoming. Other places have bigger problems. On Sept. 14 in Sublette County, a sheepherder was attacked by a grizzly bear. Miraculously he lived. The bear left a 7-inch gash in the man's head, two punctures on the left side of his chest, three claw wounds on his gut and a punctured wrist. Oh, here's the kicker. The pay is $650 a month. And all the sagebrush you can see.

Yet these are the guys the angel of the Lord came to tell about the birth of the Messiah, our Savior. Why? Why not the Bethlehem Town Council? Or the Bethlehem Chamber of Commerce, or Rotary Club? Surely a group of men existed in metropolitan Bethlehem that were far more qualified to have an audience with an angel of the Lord than a bunch of sketchy shepherds.

This is what I love about God. He takes the sorriest, no accountenest knuckleheads and uses them for His glory. Read about their response to the news of the birth of Christ. I'd say they were transformed. Any thoughts on what kind of weight it carried when these guys started spreading the word about what they had heard and seen? No wonder Luke describes it thusly in 2:18: "And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds." (NKJV)

There's a part of me that would like to taste the life of a Wyoming sheepherder. What's it really like out there? How bad is it? Could I endure it for more than a few days?

I can think of one redeeming aspect of a sheepherder in Wyoming. When night falls in that big sky that stretches from the end of the earth to the end of the earth, unobstructed by trees, or houses, or apartments, or skyscrapers, without artificial light flickering for maybe a hundred miles, you can look up at a billion stars and be amazed by the hand of God.

I reckon that's what those shepherds were doing 2,000 years ago, before the angel even appeared. They were looking up.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8364558@N07/522593774