Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Futility Of Chasing Seagulls And Other Deep Thoughts

Diggin' the beach, not the seagulls

We are very nearly halfway through January. Mind-boggling, eh? Does time go faster when you get older? Or is it because we had a one-week vacation and time goes faster during vacation?

Time is as elusive as those seagulls on the beach. I've had 14 kids and not once has one of my kids caught a seagull on the beach. That's 26 years of futility. Only the Cincinnati Bengals can match that kind of failure. (In case you are wondering, I'm a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. So yeah, Saturday night's glorious Pittsburgh victory over the dreaded Bengals in the NFL playoffs was thoroughly exhilarating, not to mention exhausting.)

Let's face it, seagulls look dumb. I mean, they just sort of stand there on the beach, looking at the ocean, not really doing anything. Do they have a job? Besides pooping on the sand?

Do they catch stuff to eat? I mean with robins you can watch them thrust their beak into the ground and bag a worm now and again. Chickens scratch the ground and cluck and maybe root around for some grubs and stuff. There's a purpose to it.

But seagulls? It's my opinion they're just sitting around waiting for a handout. That's not living. No way, no how.

And they're always baiting my kids. For literally decades my little shavers have "snuck up" on seagulls, stealthily tracking their prey only to be thwarted at the last second by those beguiling birds.

It's like watching Charlie Brown try and kick the football as Lucy holds it. Or watching Wile E. Coyote try to trap the Roadrunner. Ain't gonna happen.

So maybe that's the point. Maybe, just maybe, the sole purpose of seagulls is to sit around on the beach and bait kids like mine into chasing them to give the kids an outlet and a little exercise.

Maybe I should go easier on the seagulls because as you'll see from the video I'm linking to below, they can be pretty entertaining.

Link: Sabo vacay video

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